Can you change your life in 30 seconds? Probably not. But can you change 30 seconds of your life? Absolutely.
Most of us think in extremes. We believe that if we meditate, we have to do it for an extended period of time in a place with candles, soft music and no outer distractions. We think that if we don’t do it perfectly, we’re failing. But the truth is, our idea of what’s perfect is simply a construct we have created, likely stemming from how we see it depicted in movies and on social media. The good news is there is no meditation police. There is only our own mind.
Our minds can be quite harsh, however, and no one knows this better than Finnian Kelly, an entrepreneur, speaker, executive coach and breathwork facilitator who has guided people on intentionality journeys in 23 countries.
“The ego loves rigidity,” he says, but this all-or-nothing way of thinking sets us up for failure. “[It tells us], ‘I’ve got to do a one-hour workout every day, and if I don’t have an hour, then I can’t do my workout.’ That’s silly. Five minutes of working out is still beneficial.”
Starting out with meditation practice
When it comes to wrapping our heads around the concept of starting a practice connected to peace and emotional wellness, we can tend to talk ourselves into a corner. “You’re trying to intellectually understand something which isn’t an intellectual concept,” Kelly says. “It’s a felt perception.” He says letting go of perfection is key to making true shifts in your life, as is the act of prioritizing feelings over outcomes.
For meditation, he says it’s not about the outcome, but rather the feeling of doing breathwork and of being connected to the present. And because our perfectionism gets in the way, he reminds people that even if you weren’t connected during the last minute of your meditation, you can still be connected to the moments that follow. If you’re not feeling the way you want to, you have the power to change that.
In his book Intentionality, Kelly helps people find more authentic connections to themselves and those around them by helping them see the ways in which their negative and positive beliefs impact their lives. Through powerful imagery and science-backed explanations of how the mind works, he shows how breathwork is the anchor that connects to everything, ultimately serving as a tool to for us to recode ourselves by tapping into our desired feelings and using them to reinforce positive behaviors and thoughts.
Health benefits of breathwork
But what is breathwork, exactly? Is it just another gimmick for more authors to sell books? A self-care trend for TikTok influencers to get more followers? If breathing is something we do automatically, why should we spend more time learning how to do it?
It turns out that, much like exercise, eating right and talk therapy, there is science that shows breathwork can improve our health. According to WebMD, it has the potential to elevate the mood, alkalize blood pH and even impact the nervous system in a way that reduces fight-or-flight symptoms commonly associated with stress and anxiety. Further, breathwork may help with immune system functioning, balanced blood pressure and reduced PTSD symptoms, fewer feelings of depression and anxiety, better mental focus and more contentment.
Kelly says he came to breathwork out of a dire need, after realizing his intellect had only taken him so far. He wanted to understand what was driving his decisions and knew he had to get out of his own way and fully trust that there was so much more he didn’t know. Using breathwork as a complement to the inner work he was already doing ultimately led to his quest to help others experience the benefits in their own lives.
What is intentionality?
Mindful breathing forces us to pay attention to our thoughts, which are the very things holding most of us back from feeling the way we truly want to feel in life.
“Breathwork is the portal to the present moment because, in that state, you’re getting out of the story your mind is telling you and focusing on something,” Kelly says. “And then when you’re paying attention to your breath, you realize that there’s something behind the breath… then you can start paying attention to your thoughts.”
He teaches that we are not the thinker, as we’ve been led to believe. We are the awareness behind the thought, which means we don’t have to believe every thought we have.
“People start believing their thoughts and their stories, and unfortunately, whatever you believe is the truth,” he shares, adding that what’s important is whether or not your beliefs are serving you and others. “If they’re not serving you—you’re sick, you’re overweight, you’re not in great relationships, you’re constantly in stress and anxiety—why?” he asks. “Choose a different belief. Because what we’ve learned is beliefs are just stories. So let’s just choose something different.”
One powerful way to shift your beliefs is through breathwork. And though breathing is something the body does for us, when you bring the mind into it, easing into a place of intentionality, you may be amazed at the shifts that take place.
You don’t have to change everything all at once. Just start with 30 seconds. Try some of Kelly’s “circuit-breaker” breathing, which he says will help you remain present even when your mind wants to take you to different places.
Photo by shurkin_son/Shutterstock.com
