Reader’s Question:
Dear Fairygodmentor, I’m juggling a demanding job and caring for an elderly parent. How can I manage both without sacrificing my career or health?
– Balancing Act
Dear Balancing Act,
Whew! I truly overstand what you are going through. You’re working two full-time jobs right now — one that pays you, and one that’s pulling on your heartstrings. I don’t think others truly understand the invisible labor, guilt, and exhaustion that caregiving adds to your life. You’re not alone, so many leaders that I coach are carrying a similar load and suffering in silence.
I vividly recall caring for my father after he suffered several mini strokes and the toll it took on the entire family. Both my mother and I were working full-time with jobs that were less than accommodating and empathetic to meeting the demands of his rehabilitation. We worked in shifts after working 10-12 hours in the office. It wore us out!
Yes, being pulled in several directions can be hazardous to your health and your career.
Let’s apply my RISE©️ method to this situation so you can level up in both of these areas.
Reflect: Recognize the Reality:
• You’ve heard me say this time and time again: take a pause for the cause and name what’s really going on. Step back and ask yourself “What’s truly draining you — time, guilt, expectations, lack of support/resources?” Even though you may think you can do it all, you can’t. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s wisdom.
• You’ve got to take care of yourself first before you can help others. This is especially key when you’re at work. When people witness you creating boundaries and rules of engagement to protect your peace while being productive, it becomes contagious. As Maya Angelou once said “If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?”
Identify: What You Can and Can’t Control:
• Even though you THINK you can control everything that’s going on — like every doctor’s appointment or each meeting invite that invades your calendar, you can’t. You CAN control how you choose to show up.
• Try to identify those red flags of burnout (irritability, insomnia, appetite changes, high blood pressure, etc.) and any boundaries that need to be tightened up.
• Having self-compassion and giving yourself grace are leadership skills, not luxury items.
Strategize: Create a Support System:
• It truly takes a village to survive what life is throwing at you right now. Communicate early and often with your direct manager. Having this level of transparency builds trust.
• Explore caregiving benefits and flexible workplace options (FMLA, flex schedules, and remote working options).
• Block your rest like you would schedule any other important meeting on your calendar.
• Create a caregiving committee: siblings, friends, or local elder-care resources can be very helpful. Check with your Employee Assistance Program to see if they offer any assistance as well. Remember, strategy only works if it honors your humanity.
Execute: Boundaries and Grace in Action
• You don’t need to make huge leaps to make work/life flow possible. Take small actionable steps like using shared calendars, batching tasks, and saying “no” to non-essential tasks without guilt.
You’re not failing, Balancing Act. You’re human and you’re doing divine work. You can craft the caregiving career life you crave and continue to RISE© to the top. Don’t forget to care for yourself first before caring for others.
You got this!
Yours truly,
Your Fairygodmentor®
About Joyel Crawford:
Joyel Crawford is an award-winning career and leadership development professional and founder of Crawford Leadership Strategies, a consultancy that empowers results-driven leaders through coaching, training, and facilitation. She’s the best-selling author of Show Your Ask: Using Your Voice to Advocate for Yourself and Your Career.
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