Hey, Democrats, I think you might have broken Rep. Mike Johnson.
Johnson seemed really confident in the days and weeks leading up to the midterm elections that all the polls were wrong about who the big winners would be, emphatically claiming that Republicans would retain the House come Nov. 3.
I mean, he went on a whole Fake News Poll-gate media tour.
Imagine looking at literally every single poll, including Fox News polls, seeing that they are all projecting the exact same outcome and still getting in front of camera after camera and saying with your whole chest that the GOP will be victorious, only to have to clean up all the self-plastered egg you spent weeks smearing all over your face.
Well, now that he knows he was embarrassingly loud and wrong, the Mouse squeaker — sorry, House speaker — is calling it quits, having told his staff Wednesday morning that he will not stay on as Republican leader in the new Congress, according to what four sources told NBC News.
So, basically, all it took was one night of election results showing how thoroughly Republicans got their asses handed to them for Johnson to go from personifying the “I’m ready” SpongeBob meme to personifying the “Aight, Ima head out” SpongeBob meme.
Look, I wasn’t in the room when Johnson told his staffers he was done leading the party, but I imagine the conversation went something like this:
“What? Minority leader? Who you calling a minority? Do I look like a Black guy named Hakeem to you? I mean, not that minorities are treated badly in America or anything, but still.”
Anyway, according to the Washington Post, House Majority Leader Steve Scalise (R-Louisiana) announced Wednesday that he’s throwing his name in the hat for GOP minority leader.
“Last night’s election was far worse than any of us expected. We fought hard and left it all on the field, but clearly, we were unable to defy history,” Scalise said in a statement.
Yeah — “any of us” is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence, as there were plenty of people who have seen the writing on that wall for some time now and didn’t decide to simply stick their heads in the MAGA sand until Nov. 3 came and went. As for the “we fought hard” part, well, if by that he meant, “We fought hard at serving moronic bigots all the red meat we could for months on end,” he would be right.
But carry on.
“This is no doubt a challenging time for our conference, but overcoming adversity is nothing new to me,” Scalise continued. “We will need to be honest with ourselves about what happened, but it is more important now than ever for us to emerge from this stronger and united because the stakes couldn’t be higher.”
Yes, Republicans should certainly be honest about how their humiliating midterm demise happened. So far, they’re struggling with that, though.
Anyway, poor Mike. Somebody send him some Lee Greenwood concert tickets to cheer him up. He’ll like that.
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