Tyler Perry is no stranger to generosity, but even generosity has its limits.
During a conversation on Kirk Franklin’s “Den of Kings,” the media mogul opened up about the delicate balance between helping family and protecting your peace and business. When asked how he navigates the tensions that come with success, Perry was honest.
“I’ve had family members get mad at me cuz I wouldn’t give them a million dollars,” he said plainly.
Perry, who’s built an entertainment empire that spans film, TV, and theater, explained that while he wants to support his family, there has to be a limit. A line. And sometimes, that means making tough decisions, even if it’s someone you love.
He recalled the time he had to let his aunt go.
“She said she wanted a job. She would always call, ask her for money, ask for money. I’m like, “Okay.” I was sending the money. [One day, I was like] ‘Listen, I want to help you. I want to help you build, not be welfare to you. So, let me give you a job,’” he shared. “[But] she wasn’t coming in, calling in all the time, and I was like ‘Okay, well you got to go’ because you want me to hand you the money but you don’t want to work for it. See that doesn’t work for me.”
That boundary-setting mindset isn’t just for adults. Perry says it’s something he’s also instilling in his 10-year-old son through chores.
“I don’t believe in giving us things that are just going to handicap us,” he explained. “That is the worst thing you can do. And I’ve had family members that I’ve done that to because my mother has asked me to.”
When his mother passed away in 2009, Perry drew a line in the sand. He sent letters to relatives who had grown dependent on his support, saying, ” Listen, you’ve got 60 days to become gainfully employed because I’m not going to keep supporting you like this.”
And it worked.
“They all got jobs,” he shared. “And [they weren’t] even jobs where they’re making a lot of money, but it was a job. It was something else for them to do to feel some pride in. That’s the same thing I would want somebody to do for me.”
When entrepreneur Derrick Hayes, who also attended Franklin’s dinner, asked Perry if he received backlash or feelings of resentment from family members, Perry encouraged him to reflect on his goal.
“If you’re trying to build a business to carry everybody in your family through, that’s one thing. And if you’re trying to do that, then build a business. That means you’ve got to watch [out] for the family members that come putting holes in the boat when you’re trying to get across the sea. Sometimes you build a boat by yourself, [and say] ‘y’all all wait over here on the shore. Stay here. I’m building this boat,’ Perry advised. “I’m going to go over and build this and then I’m going to come back and see who’s worthy of because anybody who’s going to drag you down or put holes in the boat or try to destroy you, man, why bring them over?”
