Now, come one, come all to this not-so-tragic affair! It’s time for the week-in-review! Between work, having a personal life, and scrolling TikTok, we get it. You’re a busy person. So each week I’ll give you a quick recap of some of the most notable stories you might have missed.
So now that the preamble is over, let’s get into it, babes.
Mail-In Voting Is Safe (For Now)
President Donald Trump has spent the last six years alleging widespread voter fraud through mail-in ballots as a result of losing the 2020 election. Has he ever provided any proof of said voter fraud? Nope! But when has something as silly as evidence prevented Trump from trying to chip away at confidence in our elections? Trump signed an executive order earlier this year implementing several restrictions on mail-in ballots. One key provision of the order required the United States Postal Service to create a rule allowing postal workers to withhold mail-in ballots in states that don’t submit their voter rolls to an online portal.
As you can imagine, that executive order has faced several lawsuits throughout the year. Several lower courts blocked the rule, as the Constitution places control of election laws with the states and Congress, not the executive.
The Trump administration asked the Supreme Court to weigh in on the rule, and thankfully, it upheld the lower courts’ blocks because the changes demanded by the executive order couldn’t reasonably be implemented ahead of the midterms.
If you want to know more about the mail-in voting saga, click here, here, and here.
Elon Musk Running Fake Voter Registration Site
Ya know, for a party that’s allegedly so concerned about foreign influence on American elections, Republicans have been awfully quiet about Elon Musk’s attempts to influence the midterm election. This week, NewsOne writer and all-around MVP Zack Linly reported on a fake voter registration site created by the world’s richest man. The site, innocuously named “Vote Safe,” says in its ads that it’s designed to give people the information they need to vote, but in actuality it simply mines user data and sells it to third-party companies.
At some point, I’m almost impressed by Elon’s commitment to being The Absolute WorstTM.
Look, Zack thoroughly cooked this man, so if you would like to know more, click here por favor.
Mitch McConnell Is Alive-ish
Rumors of Sen. Mitch McConnell’s (R-Ky.) demise have only been slightly exaggerated. After suffering a fall earlier this summer and being out of public sight for months, many folks were starting to wonder if the GOP was actually hiding McConnell’s death. Well, homie decided to pop up and show folks he’s, you know, technically alive. I have to be honest, dude looks like he belongs in a nursing home, not the Senate. It also doesn’t help his case that he appeared to need help with something as simple as casting a vote.
It’s kinda absurd that McConnell would be forced to retire in any other job, but apparently the only qualification needed to hold public office is being able to breathe.
For more on what Mitch “The Cryptkeeper” McConnell was up to this week, click here.
Kash Patel Makes Excuses For Bestiality
Lastly, in what is easily the strangest story of the week, FBI Director Kash Patel apparently defended bestiality during a hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee.
So if you weren’t aware, Kash Patel’s tenure as FBI Director has been, uh, strange to put it politely. While his ability to do the job was already under scrutiny, the scrutiny intensified after Patel tried to quietly change the FBI’s recruitment standards to no longer make bestiality and prostitution automatic disqualifiers.
Look, if a person was trafficked, that shouldn’t disqualify them from a job where they can actively combat trafficking. I can at least kind of understand that change. But there’s no real defense of bestiality. I mean, Patel tried to defend it. It was a piss poor defense, but he certainly tried it.
If you want to know more about this weird-ass story about this weird-ass guy, click here.
So with that, we conclude our first week in review! See you in the next one, true believers.
SEE ALSO:
Mitch McConnell Proves He’s Still Alive, For The Most Part [Op-Ed]
Vote Safe Website Is A Scheme Todd Set Up. Don’t Fall For It [Op-Ed]
Kash Patel Appears To Defend Bestiality Offenders In The FBI [Op-Ed]
