“I say this with all due respect: Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world. Have you ever wondered how in the world can Haiti share an island with the Dominican Republic, and you can go to the DR and turn up and go 70 miles in one direction and see a place where people are still dying from E. coli? Well, I’ll tell you why, because in the 1700s, when the African slaves came to the island of Haiti and they introduced an idea called voodoo. And so we look at Haiti, and we ask, why is it one of the poorest countries in the world? It is not because it is full of ignorant Black people. They are as smart and as intelligent as you are, but there is a spirit.”
Henderson is talking about the Devil. Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub. The Prince of Darkness. Lord of the Flies. Mephistopheles. God’s Opp and Jesus’ nemesis (try saying that three times).
I always wondered where the Devil lives.
I know he sang tenor on God’s mass choir before enrolling in Duke University’s performing arts program. According to the reporting of Confederate sympathizer George Daniels, the Devil briefly went down to Georgia to participate in a Verzuz match. But ever since he lost his golden fiddle, he left. In all fairness, Satan probably heard that famous negro spiritual “Ain’t no more play in G.A.” by noted theologian Pastor Troy.
But thanks to another less-than-reverend pastor, theGrio can now confirm that the Devil went down to Haiti to practice white supremacy.
Henderson is the founder, CEO, and senior pastor of Lighthouse Church and Ministries, a sprawling megachurch in Houston, Texas. Henderson is married to Shaunie Henderson, the former wife of Shaquille O’Neal. But Keion is not overshadowed by his reality star and business mogul wife or her husband. Keion is also a giant baller who landed an endorsement deal with one of the most profitable companies on the planet:
White Jesus.
Henderson frequently works as a celebrity spokesperson for Caucasian Christ. He famously went viral for telling the Holy Ghost to STFU and recently served as the corporate fundraiser for God’s construction company, asking each parishioner for $2,100 to defray construction costs after Jesus’ daddy renovated Henderson’s megachurch with a hurricane. To be fair, in a 2023 sermon titled “All About the Benjamins,” the prosperity prophet explained why giving to him is more important than giving to the needy. “There is no blessing connected to blessing the poor other than getting back what you gave to them, but no multiplication,” Henderson preached. “When you give to the poor, the only thing you do is help them, but you don’t help yourself … Charity does not bring wealth; only the tithe does that.” But that’s just what indigent Jesus told him to say.
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Henderson’s agreement with our Father who art in Heaven’s low-income housing clearly does not include a noncompete clause. He is also willing to repeat some of Lucifer’s best lyrics and oldest anti-Black talking points. In a recently resurfaced clip of a 2022 sermon, Henderson is definitely giving the Devil his due. While Professor Grift doesn’t explicitly name the “spirit,” any good Christian understands why they must wear Satan-proof suits —because there is only one foe that can go toe-to-toe with Jesus in a Ju-Jitsu match.
“Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil,” reads Christianity’s employee handbook. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
According to the Most High’s chief communication officer, apparently, this “spirit” outmaneuvered the all-powerful, all-knowing God and doomed one specific country to three centuries of poverty.
First of all, whenever anyone begins a statement with: “With all due respect,” you can be sure they are about to unleash some disrespectful nonsense. I’m pretty sure that’s in the Bible. (It’s in the same chapter that Keion Henderson found: “F*ck the needy. We gotta get this paper.” Scammentations, probably.)
Secondly, and with all due respect, Keion Henderson doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about. I’ve covered this a million times in articles, social media posts and a literal book. But just to educate the enlightened believers in this particular prosperity scammer, here’s an abbreviated fact check for all the things the minister of misinformation got wrong.
- No “African slaves came to Haiti.” It was Christians who enslaved Africans and brought them to the island of Hispaniola in 1505 (He was only off by 200 years).
- Africans didn’t bring voodoo from Africa: While Vodou or “voodoo” has roots in Africa, It is actually an adaptation of Christianity and West African spirituality and rituals that date back 6000 years. In fact, the practice most Vodou practitioners are also Christians.
- It’s not unique to Haiti: Louisianans practice voodoo. Among the South Carolina Geechie Gullah, Hoodoo is the African/Christian African blended religion. Cubans practice Santeria. Dominicans practice Vudú.
- It’s not why Haiti is poor: While the unread reverend would like you to believe the Dominican Republic has an anointing-based economy, Dominicans (94.9%) are as likely to identify as Christian as Haitians (94.3%). And both countries are more Christian than the U.S.
- But the devil, tho: There are too many variations to define voodoo broadly, but, generally speaking, while there are malevolent entities, the practice doesn’t really have a direct equivalent to Satan.
- There is a good reason for Henderson’s ignorance: The answer is white supremacy.
The Haitian Revolution actually began with a Vodou ceremony and ended with the Black people of Haiti defeating Napolean’s army, the British Navy and the Spanish Armada in the largest, most successful slave revolt in the history of the planet. The event shocked the Western world, including the brand new country to the north whose entire economy depended on the race-based, constitutionally enforced system of extracting labor and intellectual property through violence or the threat of violence (you probably just call it “slavery”).
To prevent Haitians who unenslaved themselves from igniting a similar revolt, the leader of that newborn slave society (you probably just call him Thomas Jefferson) doubled the size of his country (you probably call it the Louisiana Purchase). France sold the Louisiana Territory, got out of the slavery business altogether and asked the U.S. (along with other white-owned countries) to help collect the equivalent of $21 billion in reparations. For over 125 years, nearly 80% of the Haitian government’s revenue was used to service its debts. Not only did the Western powers force Haiti to pay this “independence ransom” until France forgave the debt in 2015, but an American company acted as the collection agent (you probably call it CitiBank).
This is why Haiti is poor.
The U.S. and Western Europe were not finished. In one of the greatest propaganda campaigns in history, the Western world blamed the country’s poverty on a Black religion practiced by 2.1% of the population. In fact, many of the rituals commonly associated with the religion, including voodoo dolls, human sacrifice and satanic worship, are actually European practices. Henderson would be shocked to find out that 200 years later, income inequality is more closely linked to religion.
But let’s say all the white supremacist propaganda is correct. Even if there was a Christian God who sacrificed his child so that everyone could eat the body and drink the blood of a resurrected zombie messiah, why would God hate freedom? If he was so hellbent on punishing those who offended Christian sensibilities, then why aren’t white people poor? There’s only one logical reason why an omnipotent, all-knowing entity would give white people a pass:
Apparently, Jesus is a white supremacist.
It’s the only logical explanation. It’s possible that “Cash Money” Keion believes freedom-seeking Black people deserve more wrath than the people and governments who imposed 200 years of economic and political retribution on innocent people. Perhaps the Holy Ghost hustler doesn’t know that the Haitian Revolution began with Dutty Bookman’s prayer to “the god who created the earth; who created the sun that gives us light… who holds up the ocean; who makes the thunder roar.” But if poverty is the ultimate punishment, then Lighthouse Ministries is just a sanctuary for human traffickers, thieves, extortionists, liars and white supremacists. Keion Henderson might not want his members to “throw away the image of the white men’s god who thirsts for our tears” or “listen to the voice of liberty that speaks in all our hearts,” but look at the bright side:
At least we know where the devil lives.
Michael Harriot is an economist, cultural critic and championship-level Spades player. His New York Times bestseller Black AF History: The Unwhitewashed Story of America is available everywhere books are sold.
