Tracee Ellis Ross has always proudly spoken about her decision not to have kids or prioritize finding a partner. During an appearance on the “IMO” podcast with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, Ross opened up about being a “choiceful” woman and dating on her own terms.
“I’m a very unique sort of unicorn of a woman,” she told the podcast’s hosts, explaining her dating experiences. “I’m one of the first generations of choice…the ability for a woman to find her own delight and pleasure and choice around how she navigates dating or how one would navigate dating.”
Discussing how the overturn of Roe v. Wade caused a shift in modern dating culture, Ross explained how throughout her life she’s had to fight against cultural norms as a “choiceful woman” who owns her body, choices, and ability to negotiate what she wants in a relationship.
“Some of the ability to reflect on what I really want comes from pushing up against a society that shames me for not having the expected trappings,” the actress said, as previously reported by theGrio. “I’m very pleased with my existence these days. Have I had to learn to make friends with loneliness? Yes. I think if I were in a relationship, it would be the same.”
While she is happy with the way her life looks today, the “Black-ish” star revealed that she still battles some “grief” about her choices.
“As much as grief does surface for me around not having children and not having a partner, I still wouldn’t want the wrong partner. At all, I’m not interested in that. You have to make my life better, it can’t just be ‘I’m in a relationship just to be in a relationship,” she said candidly.
Describing dating as a “fascinating journey,” Ross emphasized that she’s not here to shrink herself for a relationship—or to raise a man.
“I’m also very embodied. I am a full, very whole person who knows myself, who is in charge of my life and who lives a very full, just robust life,” she added. “Even though the grief does emerge, and [when] that comes, and I hold that, I think of what I’ve done. I think I woke up every morning trying to do my best. I didn’t wake up one morning and be like I’m gonna mess this day up. So I must be where I’m supposed to be.”
“And sometimes I think of all of the things I’ve done—the courage I’ve had to have, what I had to learn to navigate as a single person with no one to hide behind,” she concluded.
