Last month, I was prepared for challenges at the Seafire Wellness Festival in Grand Cayman in the Cayman Islands. An ice bath was on the agenda and seemed like the ultimate test—a freezing plunge promising to push my physical and mental limits.
But the real shock came during a financial wellness session. When the speaker asked who in the room had a will, I flushed with embarrassment. I pride myself on being financially responsible—I check my credit score regularly, keep a detailed budget and even have an emergency fund. Yet, here was a glaring blind spot I’d somehow overlooked. I scanned the room, feeling exposed. A will: such a fundamental piece of financial adulting, and somehow, it had completely slipped past me.
As it turns out, I’m not alone in this oversight. Caring.com’s 2024 Wills and Estate Planning Survey reveals a startling truth: Only about one-third of U.S. adults have a will. Most people avoid it because it feels like navigating a legal minefield, but that doesn’t make the need less urgent. Creating a will isn’t a luxury for the wealthy—it’s a protective measure for those we love.
The psychology of avoidance
I’m not unique in hesitating. Estate planning can trigger deep anxieties. “Many people avoid estate planning because it forces them to confront their own mortality, which can be uncomfortable,” says Dana Blue, estate planning attorney.
This discomfort runs deeper than simple procrastination. “A lot of people notoriously struggle to think about their future selves and underestimate how quickly time passes,” says Aja Evans, a financial therapist. “Avoiding the topic of eventual death is very common. People don’t want to think about it or talk about it and feel like that is a future problem versus something that we all know will happen eventually.”
Evans emphasizes that estate planning often stirs up powerful emotions like fear, worry, stress and concern—feelings that can stop us from taking action. Yet overcoming that discomfort rewards us with peace of mind.
“Knowing that your wishes have been made known… [can] give peace of mind and can lessen anxiety about what will happen after you pass away,” Evans says.
Blue points out that younger adults and unmarried individuals often convince themselves that wills are for someone else—older, richer, closer to the end. For those caught in the squeeze of the “sandwich generation,” juggling kids and aging parents, estate planning can feel like just another task on an endless to-do list.
Yet Blue stresses that estate planning isn’t about wealth—it’s about ensuring your wishes are honored. “It’s about providing peace of mind for yourself and your loved ones,” she says. “It’s a proactive act of love and responsibility.”
Will vs. living will: What’s the difference?
Two essential documents anchor any estate plan: a will and a living will. While they’re often confused, their purposes are distinct.
“A will outlines how your assets will be distributed after death and appoints the persons who will manage your affairs, such as executors, trustees and guardians for minor children,” explains Elizabeth Candido Petite, a partner specializing in trusts and estates. “A living will, on the other hand, specifies your wishes for medical treatment if you’re alive but incapacitated.”
Petite emphasizes that young adults, especially those who travel often or participate in high-risk activities, should prioritize creating a living will, as it “can ensure your medical preferences are honored regardless of where you are,” she says. Advance directives, which appoint someone to make medical decisions on your behalf, are also crucial.
Together, a will and living will ensure both your health and financial affairs are managed according to your wishes—even if you’re unable to make decisions yourself.
Sorting through digital assets
Estate planning has grown more complex and now encompasses more than bank accounts and property.
“People often overlook digital assets, such as online accounts, cryptocurrency and intellectual property,” Blue explains. As our lives become more digital, these assets should also be considered in estate plans. What do you want to do with your online legacy?
Petite adds, “Wills must now include provisions for the transfer or management of digital assets, including secure ways to share keys for cryptocurrency wallets.” For digital entrepreneurs, this extends to e-commerce revenue streams or monetized content. Without proper planning, families could lose access to significant financial and sentimental assets.
By incorporating digital assets into a will, you ensure everything—from social media accounts to digital currencies—is managed according to your wishes.
When should you start estate planning?
Blue and Petite agree that estate planning should begin with financial independence. Blue advises starting simple: “Everyone should have a last will and testament once they are legally an adult, especially if they own property, have dependents or [have] significant savings.”
She also highlights key life triggers for creating or updating a will, such as marriage, the birth of a child or acquiring significant assets. “For young adults, the focus might be on simple instructions, but the complexity should grow with life events,” she notes.
Once you have your will, periodic updates are also important. Blue recommends reviewing your will every three to five years or after significant life changes to ensure it reflects your current circumstances.
Overcoming barriers
The biggest obstacle to estate planning is often the perception that it’s too expensive or complicated. Blue dispels this myth: “Many believe creating a last will and testament is prohibitively expensive or only for the wealthy. In reality, an attorney can help craft a tailored plan at a reasonable cost. A will prepared by an attorney is typically 1% or less of one’s total assets.”
The other obstacle? Starting the conversation. The topic around creating wills can be delicate, but the holidays can be a good opportunity to start those conversations in a more supportive setting.
Considering how difficult it can be to make sure everything is in line financially while you’re grieving, it’s helpful to frame it as a way to protect and care for one another.
“Using ‘I’ statements to lead with what you’re feeling and thinking about can be very helpful,” Evans says. “Express to [loved ones] why this is important to you and to the family…. Making sure everyone is on the same page and that their legacy is being honored as they wished is the most important.”
Photo from Amnaj Khetsamtip/Shutterstock.com
