Editor’s note: The following article is an op-ed, and the views expressed are the author’s own. Read more opinions on theGrio.
You guys, can you believe summer is already almost over and fall is nearly here?
The football preseason has started, baseball season is in full swing and the WNBA is back, and that means people are gathering in bars, pubs, parking lots, private residences and everywhere in between to watch their favorite teams, drink adult beverages and eat foods that are symbolic with sports and merriment.
It’s chicken wings. I’m talking about chicken wings.
Personally, as a Black woman, I will use any excuse to eat chicken wings. It could be a day ending in the letter “y,” and I’ll be like, “Let’s celebrate! Chicken wings!”
Every time I order wings — no matter if it’s at Popeyes (theirs are good!), Wingstop, the Cuban spot (if you live in L.A., Versailles has bomb wings!), or some other random place — I always ask if I can get all flats.
Don’t get me wrong; I’ll eat all the pieces of a chicken wing that are put in front of me, drummettes included, but if we are keeping it a buck, the flat is the superior piece.
First of all, it’s easier to get all the meat off of it and still maintain my dignity in public.
Don’t act like I’m the only one who eats chicken wings one way in public and a totally different way by myself or among close friends and family.
Lifestyle
In public, I’m breaking that flat apart with my fingers and pulling the meat off of it to gracefully put it in my mouth.
In private, I’m sticking that thang in my mouth and sucking the meat off it all at once. You can do this if you know how to use your tongue. It’s the best way to eat the flat, but unless you want everyone staring at you and wondering where your table manners are, you probably aren’t going to do that in mixed company.
Let’s compare that to the drummette. The drummette is still a good piece of wing. I especially like that little gristle part that is attached to the top of the bone after you eat the big meat part of it off.
If you know, you know.
The thing is, if you are eating drummettes in public, you are going to have to leave that little piece of gristle there, and now you got a pile of bones on your plate that other Black people would look at and say you are wasting good chicken when in reality, there is no dignified way to bite that gristle part off in front of people because, again, not in mixed company.
The flat holds a lot of the flavor and seasonings, especially on that little end part that —
You know what? I’m eating that little end part off my flat no matter who is looking because I like nice things.
Back to my point, though, the flat is a more tender piece of meat than the drummette.
Again, I will eat drummettes. I cannot stress this enough. There is not a part of the chicken I won’t eat aside from heads and feet.
The deal is flats are the star of the show. Drummettes are the understudy.
Yeah, they perform well enough in a pinch, but when you show up to the theater, you want the one with top billing.
Anyway, feel free to argue amongst yourselves.
I said what I said.
Flats are the superior piece of the chicken wing. Period.
Monique Judge is a storyteller, content creator and writer living in Los Angeles. She is a word nerd who is a fan of the Oxford comma, spends way too much time on Twitter, and has more graphic t-shirts than you. Follow her on Twitter @thejournalista or check her out at thejournalista.com.
